So long, Matej, and thanks for all the goals

Matej Vydra is one of the very best strikers I’ve seen in a Watford shirt. I’m happy if he leaves.

There, I said it.

I don’t mean I don’t love him. I do love him. I’d happily have his babies.

It’s true. I’d have his babies more happily than anyone’s since Mo Johnston in 1983/4. Mo had a reputation as a baby-maker, but he and I never actually… well, you love and you lose.

And that’s my point. You love and you lose. And you have to come to terms with it, regardless of the rights and the wrongs. As a fan, it’s out of your control.

I’ve lost count of the times my heart’s been broken. John Barnes left me in 1987. Danny Graham in 2011. They were the big break-ups. I pulled through. Just.

These days, I’m better at pulling through. I’ve become finely honed – and improved my recovery time. QSF made his comments about Vydra only yesterday. This morning, I’ve found I can live with the idea of his going. I’m happy if he leaves. (Damned if I can find an emoji that shows my gritted teeth as I write that.)

It helped to read the fans’ reactions on Twitter, Facebook, and WFC Forums. I saw people articulately analysing Vydra’s role in the squad. I saw people passionately debating his qualities as a player. I saw people shrieking like wet-knickered Take That fans when Robbie left.

In other words, I saw the first three stages of loss and grief: denial, anger and bargaining. Last night, I went through the fourth stage: depression. Now I’m at the final fifth stage: acceptance. I’ve woken up ready to put a brave face on it. Ready to find consolation somewhere.

And I don’t have far to look. I look at Troy Deeney and I look at Odion Ighalo. Watford have never – ever – had a pair of strikers of this quality at the club. Vydra has been the one who – though brilliant – can’t get in the side.

So I’ve worked it all through. If Matej goes, we wouldn’t be losing our very best player. It wouldn’t be a John Barnes or Danny Graham break-up. Instead, the whole thing is just another demonstration of what a massively long way our club has come.